Well, here we are at the first full non-puffy bloody weekend, post surgery. I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised. I walking tall, if not quite looking good. And I'm ready to drink! There is little to say on this matter, or in this post. Other than that I look forward to getting drunk with no carbonation, and hoping that mashed potatoes are enough to sate me during this adventure. We shall see. Details to follow...
4/25/08
4/23/08
Soup or Smoothie?
I'll have both please! And a shake! And some freakin' temporary teeth please! And make it snappy, I'm in a hurry.
Someone asked today what I would eat right now if I could. I posited that a slice of cheese pizza covered in french fries sounded good. At first, I laughed at the sheer absurdity of the whole thing. But upon reflection... no. I would definitely take a bite out of that if presented to me and I was able. And then of course I went to the farmers market (note to self- SD local farmers do NOT grow bananas. How this didn't seem obvious at first is beyond me). So, I can always use some more fruit to cram in my blender. But the longing! tiny tacos! the crepe guy! even the guy who lets you taste all of his cheese and olives! OH MY GOD! It is literally the only true food annoyance I have had yet. And I had only a strawberry raspberry smoothie to drown my sorrow in when I got home.
I would say "Woe is Me". But it's not really. Bitterness is sometimes me. Brooding is sometimes me. Singing in the car is sometimes me. Absurd comments to random people? Also me. But woe... no. That would be overly harsh. I admit that the worst part of this week has been the weird mood swings. I mean, i expected simply straight-forward problems... pain. discomfort. swelling. The 3 horse-people of the maxilla. But insomnia? mood swings? not being able to sleep on my right side? These are not what I was prepared for. So what am I to do? What could possible be the answer???? TELL ME DAMMIT!!!!
OK, so I can't actually hear you. To date, I've tried a few methods:
-) butterscotch pudding (good, but not as successful as I had hoped)
-) whiskey (we're still working on this one. more later)
-) Pynchon (also an experiment in progress. But you have to love the character name "Benny Profane")
Tomorrow is BIG CHECK-UP DAY. the day in which my OMD pokes around, say "hmmm", keeps looking at me asking over and over again if I'm SURE I haven't had a cigarette (I haven't! seriously! A whole week), and almost certainly does something that is going to make me want another pain pill. Nice guy, but damn he can be a pain (rimshot? anyone? please?). I also expect one more "we'll see" and "I'll let you know next week". What's a checkup without them?
And finally, I'm sorry.. there's just not much more to show in picture. I mean, other then the fact that I haven't shaved and seriously think that my mustache hair is growing slower then it was last week, what's to see? So here is my request (at the suggestion of a good friend, you know who you are)- do any of you have gross pictures of dental work that you can share? I will post them here. We'll make it a clearinghouse!Sort of like Getty (Bloody) Images! We can license them and make a mint? Or at least, we'll be able to buy a few mints. Which I'll likely eat before you get your share. Sorry.
Someone asked today what I would eat right now if I could. I posited that a slice of cheese pizza covered in french fries sounded good. At first, I laughed at the sheer absurdity of the whole thing. But upon reflection... no. I would definitely take a bite out of that if presented to me and I was able. And then of course I went to the farmers market (note to self- SD local farmers do NOT grow bananas. How this didn't seem obvious at first is beyond me). So, I can always use some more fruit to cram in my blender. But the longing! tiny tacos! the crepe guy! even the guy who lets you taste all of his cheese and olives! OH MY GOD! It is literally the only true food annoyance I have had yet. And I had only a strawberry raspberry smoothie to drown my sorrow in when I got home.
I would say "Woe is Me". But it's not really. Bitterness is sometimes me. Brooding is sometimes me. Singing in the car is sometimes me. Absurd comments to random people? Also me. But woe... no. That would be overly harsh. I admit that the worst part of this week has been the weird mood swings. I mean, i expected simply straight-forward problems... pain. discomfort. swelling. The 3 horse-people of the maxilla. But insomnia? mood swings? not being able to sleep on my right side? These are not what I was prepared for. So what am I to do? What could possible be the answer???? TELL ME DAMMIT!!!!
OK, so I can't actually hear you. To date, I've tried a few methods:
-) butterscotch pudding (good, but not as successful as I had hoped)
-) whiskey (we're still working on this one. more later)
-) Pynchon (also an experiment in progress. But you have to love the character name "Benny Profane")
Tomorrow is BIG CHECK-UP DAY. the day in which my OMD pokes around, say "hmmm", keeps looking at me asking over and over again if I'm SURE I haven't had a cigarette (I haven't! seriously! A whole week), and almost certainly does something that is going to make me want another pain pill. Nice guy, but damn he can be a pain (rimshot? anyone? please?). I also expect one more "we'll see" and "I'll let you know next week". What's a checkup without them?
And finally, I'm sorry.. there's just not much more to show in picture. I mean, other then the fact that I haven't shaved and seriously think that my mustache hair is growing slower then it was last week, what's to see? So here is my request (at the suggestion of a good friend, you know who you are)- do any of you have gross pictures of dental work that you can share? I will post them here. We'll make it a clearinghouse!Sort of like Getty (Bloody) Images! We can license them and make a mint? Or at least, we'll be able to buy a few mints. Which I'll likely eat before you get your share. Sorry.
4/22/08
Insomnia? Are you kidding me?
OK, I have a complaint. I'm certainly not overeating. I've quit smoking and usually have been ending the day with a pain pill. But for some reason, for the first time in my life, I seem to be fighting some shitty bout of insomnia! What the fuck? Pain is manageable, so it's not that. In fact, when I was in pain, I got right to sleep. I just had to get up once to deal. But I feel pretty good now. I don't think I'm fixating on anything, at least not consciously. So what gives? Do I need to heat my late night milkshake so it takes the form of "warm milk"? Because seriously.. that's gross. Are my narcotic painkillers playing dirty little tricks on me and having the opposite effect? (I can see them in the corner, huddling... "Timmssess? Oh we hates timssess")
Well, I guess this too is one more little annoyance. Que sera. Don't tell anyone I work with, but I kind of just slept 1-2 hours through my alarm today as a big middle finger to last night. And considering this whole experience isn't really as bad as it might have been, i suppose it's a small price to pay. I once heard it said that "every moment of pleasure is paid for with a moment of pain". Perhaps this is the lesser known cousin "ever moment of not-pain is paid for by a moment of slight annoyance".
Other tiny complaint? I can't seem to smile. It's true. I have these 2 stitches well positioned to effectively prevent me from moving my upper lip into an expression of decent happiness. I will have to suffice with smirking I guess. It's not a bad expression. Better then the morose monkey look (see below). I guess it's all a progression. Maybe I should go play some poker. What better time to play poker then when you are physically incapable of making significant facial expressions?
And I'm past the cane. It's kind of sad really. I liked the cane. It had a certain cachet'. But alas, it's time to return it to gramma. I think I need to get out more. I don't want the Great Outdoors to devolve back into the Great Indoors. So alas, I think it is time to hobble to a nearby cafe and pretend not to hate my job. I don't actually hate my job, I'm just so not feelin' it this week. And it kind of bugs. like those smile preventing stitches. There you have it in a convoluted syllogism. My job is like smile-preventing stitches.
OK, let's see if we have more pictures to share... Yes! we do. First we have the closest thing I can muster to a smile. You can understand my frustration:
Next, you will see what my gums look like as they impersonate a stuffed and tied pork loin. Really, I have to give it my OMD. Here's very neat with the stitching (Yeah, no snarky comments about the fillings You all know I drank too much cola as a child. I've heard it before!):
Well, I guess this too is one more little annoyance. Que sera. Don't tell anyone I work with, but I kind of just slept 1-2 hours through my alarm today as a big middle finger to last night. And considering this whole experience isn't really as bad as it might have been, i suppose it's a small price to pay. I once heard it said that "every moment of pleasure is paid for with a moment of pain". Perhaps this is the lesser known cousin "ever moment of not-pain is paid for by a moment of slight annoyance".
Other tiny complaint? I can't seem to smile. It's true. I have these 2 stitches well positioned to effectively prevent me from moving my upper lip into an expression of decent happiness. I will have to suffice with smirking I guess. It's not a bad expression. Better then the morose monkey look (see below). I guess it's all a progression. Maybe I should go play some poker. What better time to play poker then when you are physically incapable of making significant facial expressions?
And I'm past the cane. It's kind of sad really. I liked the cane. It had a certain cachet'. But alas, it's time to return it to gramma. I think I need to get out more. I don't want the Great Outdoors to devolve back into the Great Indoors. So alas, I think it is time to hobble to a nearby cafe and pretend not to hate my job. I don't actually hate my job, I'm just so not feelin' it this week. And it kind of bugs. like those smile preventing stitches. There you have it in a convoluted syllogism. My job is like smile-preventing stitches.
OK, let's see if we have more pictures to share... Yes! we do. First we have the closest thing I can muster to a smile. You can understand my frustration:
Next, you will see what my gums look like as they impersonate a stuffed and tied pork loin. Really, I have to give it my OMD. Here's very neat with the stitching (Yeah, no snarky comments about the fillings You all know I drank too much cola as a child. I've heard it before!):
4/20/08
The Great Outdoors!
I finally made it out into the world. So terribly exciting. After many days of pent up frustration, I discovered that today was Earth Day and decided to go to the fair. There was walking. And occasionally there was me muttering incoherently to the people in the booths. But mostly there was walking.
And I do so love large fairs full of tree hugging dirt worshipers like myself. SO many interesting a random ways to sew hemp and save the world and reduce my carbon footprint. As it stands, I really only managed to do 2 things. I talked to candidate running against my current congressional representative (the other democrat. a republican will never win in our conveniently gerrymandered district). And I talked to the folks at the House Rabbit Society about how badly they need foster families for bunnies. Once I get all healed, I might have to look into this. I do so love bunnies.
But there was one thing that stuck out. In this bastion of left wing idealists there were the requisite bible-thumpers with their large signs and abortion pictures. Now those were revolting, but not unexpected. However, the thing that really did stick out was the pitiable looking man with a 5 foot sign that read "Give me 5 minutes and I will proved to you that god exists and jesus died for your sins". Seriously. It was like Grecian Formula challenge meets Pascal's Wager. I couldn't believe it. I was SO F*CKING bitter that my mouth isn't really working. I wanted to talk to him SO BADLY I could feel it. Actually, that was the twinge in my hip as I whirled around to read his sign. But STILL! I mean, here is a person who is apparently so unclear on the concept of "faith" that not only is he seeking to prove his beliefs to himself... he wants to prove them to YOU. It never ceases to amaze me how some people (not all mind you, but some) who claim that faith is the most important thing in their lives still seem convinced that faith and "proof" need to co-exist. And damn, i just realized that i missed the Union of Concerned Scientists booth. how ironic.
OK, I am off to tend to my chicken stock. And maybe take a pain pill. But really, I might just be over those. How sad...
And I do so love large fairs full of tree hugging dirt worshipers like myself. SO many interesting a random ways to sew hemp and save the world and reduce my carbon footprint. As it stands, I really only managed to do 2 things. I talked to candidate running against my current congressional representative (the other democrat. a republican will never win in our conveniently gerrymandered district). And I talked to the folks at the House Rabbit Society about how badly they need foster families for bunnies. Once I get all healed, I might have to look into this. I do so love bunnies.
But there was one thing that stuck out. In this bastion of left wing idealists there were the requisite bible-thumpers with their large signs and abortion pictures. Now those were revolting, but not unexpected. However, the thing that really did stick out was the pitiable looking man with a 5 foot sign that read "Give me 5 minutes and I will proved to you that god exists and jesus died for your sins". Seriously. It was like Grecian Formula challenge meets Pascal's Wager. I couldn't believe it. I was SO F*CKING bitter that my mouth isn't really working. I wanted to talk to him SO BADLY I could feel it. Actually, that was the twinge in my hip as I whirled around to read his sign. But STILL! I mean, here is a person who is apparently so unclear on the concept of "faith" that not only is he seeking to prove his beliefs to himself... he wants to prove them to YOU. It never ceases to amaze me how some people (not all mind you, but some) who claim that faith is the most important thing in their lives still seem convinced that faith and "proof" need to co-exist. And damn, i just realized that i missed the Union of Concerned Scientists booth. how ironic.
OK, I am off to tend to my chicken stock. And maybe take a pain pill. But really, I might just be over those. How sad...
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